Codependency

I want to chat about codependency. Let’s give you some tools.

Codependency is basically when someone else's thoughts, feelings, emotions...even their lives become more important than your own.

It's a huge problem for many and one I've struggled with on my own.

I want to share with you some tips you can use when you find yourself in a codependent state.

1. No more fixing!

Often times, codependents feel like they have to fix things for others in order for everything to be okay. This certainly isn't true as often times "fixing" things can lead to disempowerment with the person having no true understanding of how to overcome problems on their own.

Instead of "fixing" things for others, what you can do instead (because I know you want to help people) is to hold space for them. This means listening. This means being there for them. There is a lot more empowerment when someone holds space for another and that person is able to come to their own conclusions versus "fixing" their problems and leaving them a bit bewildered and reliant on you.

2. Put yourself first!

Instead of putting yourself first each day, often times codependents feel the urge to put others before themselves so that they feel that they have worth. If this is you, I want to challenge you to take care of your own priorities, commitments, etc. first. When you show up for you first, you'll be able to give so much more than showing up for another before you've taken care of yourself.

You cannot give what you do not have; it never works and ultimately leads to feelings of powerlessness and being used.

Basically, the core wound of most codependents is I am not worthy and I am not enough. The only way to overcome this wound is to continue to work on loving yourself. This means choosing you over and over again as represented by these tools.

You're worth it and I love you.